you and me and the devil makes three

Like Locked Rooms
"Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them." - Rainer Maria Rilke
scc_reloaded challenge fic, written for thedreamisreal
Rating: PG
Words: ~5300
Beta: Thank you mitchy, deathisyourart and doccy!
Notes: This is somewhat a sequel to These Things My Mother Taught Me - writing two future fics in completely different 'verses was a little beyond me, it turns out - but hopefully stands alone.

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The voices around John are fading in and out and they’re doing it in time with the light so he’s starting to think maybe it’s just him. He struggles without really meaning to and can’t quite get it together enough to worry when he barely moves. Everything is too heavy or too light, too fast and then too slow.

( Too bright. )

Look! Look! LEVERAGE FIC FOR MEEEEE!

And I know I could maybe be biased, but you'll just have to trust I'm being objective when I say it's made of happiness and kittens and and eeeeeeeeee.

HARDISON! NATE! In a beautiful buddy movie kind of way, except instead of car chases and explosions there are concussions.

*push* *push*

Oceanwalk (DL & Notes)
How to build a better book of matches by watching the fire burning
Music: Oceanwalk by Astronautalis
Fandom: Veritas: The Quest
Beta: Thanks to deathisyourart
Format: avi ~24MB 4:15
For: The very generous and lovely delibby, who bought my me for SC.

These Things My Mother Taught Me
It’s even darker than the desert was; at least in the desert there were stars.
scc_reloaded challenge fic, written for nowcarpediem
Rating: PG
Words: ~4000
Beta: Thank you mitchy and deathisyourart!

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John wants to tell them, but what can he say? “So, hi, I’m your son,” to a man who isn’t much older than he is? “I’m the leader of the Resistance and, hey, your nephew,” to a man carrying a gun that big?

( No. Really, just - no. )

Sequel: Like Locked Rooms

The Provenance Job
Hardison wants a young priest and an old priest, Sophie has legs all the way up to ~here~, Dean's thinking cold, cold thoughts and Sam wishes he'd stayed in the car
Rating PG-13
Spoilers None
Words ~1200
Notes This HASN'T been betaed. I asked, just no one was taking. It's like people have lives or something. And I totally could not post it, but I can feel my fannish slipping and I want it back before the code actually eats my soul. So if WIPs and/or non-betaed makes you sad in your angry place or something, FLEE. Hopefully I'll get it betaed once it's finished. OR FLAIL TRYING.
SPN/Leverage prompt from geteven_getfic's April Kink Fic Challenge
ETA: Oops, should have mentioned that my SamnDean are pretty much frozen early S3 because I've not seen anything much past that. So they probably don't cry as much o_0

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“Nuh uh,” Hardison shook his head rapidly, but that didn’t seem emphatic enough; he brought up his hands and made a forefinger cross to ward Sophie away.

She studied him from behind crossed arms with a curious, if completely non-repelled, expression. “You’re actually serious: you’re superstitious?”

The Bear Job
Eliot fights a bear and definitely isn't eaten by wolves. Sophie-Sue is unleashed, Hardison is not your secretary and Parker probably wants people to plz r/r.
Rating PG-13 for violence
Spoilers None
Words ~2200
Notes Written for geteven_getfic's April Kink Fic Challenge.
Beta Thank you mitchy!

---

Hardison typed as Parker dictated in careful monotone "Eliot was up a mountain and-"

Sophie shook her head. "You can't start like that, Parker. You have to engage your audience, describe your protagonist."

"Eliot was up a mountain being short with funny hair. Eliot. Not the mountain."

( Hardison paused with his fingers over the keys. )

Amazon Rank - Oh Amazon, what happened to you? You used to be cool, man. Presumably it's now "Shop anywhere ...else".

( Just in case your Tuesday just wasn't weird enough, there's a zombie. On your lawn. )

The Green Light Job
Eliot is a good boy really - he just fell in with the wrong people, Parker probably shouldn't have prepped by watching Cell Block H, Hardison is a god amongst mortals, Sophie looks good in those boots and Nate really needs to warn people before he does that kind of thing
Beta: Thank you to the awesome made of *deep breath* mitchy, killabeez, the_blonde_one and doccy. Any remaining errors are not only my fault but also the strongest of their species. Fear them.
Previous: All parts

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Sophie sat behind the desk in the counselor’s office and examined herself in the reflection of the varnish. She smoothed her brow line and removed a small dot of mascara from her eyelid, then looked up as the door opened.

( Eliot shuffled in with Parker just behind him. )

The Green Light Job
Eliot makes a new friend, someone has given Parker a nightstick, Hardison is further traumatized, Sophie is probably plotting something and Nate is all about fashion (mid-to-late series, ensemble)
Beta: Thank you to the awesome made of *deep breath* mitchy, killabeez, the_blonde_one and doccy. Any remaining errors are not only my fault but also the strongest of their species. Fear them.
Previous: All parts

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“She’s definitely being followed.” Eliot dropped into his seat at the boardroom table about half an hour after Sophie had returned. “It’s like that snake eating itself: bad guys following her and Feds following them. Injuns and pirates following them.”

At the Peter Pan reference his smile became crooked; Nate was briefly thrown by the thought Eliot had actually been a child once and hadn’t come onto the Earth a fully formed ball of violence.

( Well that was weird. )

The Green Light Job
Eliot is stalling, Parker likes Popsicles, Hardison really isn't helping, Sophie is disturbingly maternal and Nate's pretty sure someone is stealing his whiskey (mid-to-late series, ensemble)
Thank you: mitchy for the beta!
Previous: All parts

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At first Sophie had thought Jerome Valdez was exceedingly lucky that his wife had decided to stand by him, all things considered. Now she wondered if the woman just wanted to get her hands on him first.

( Not that she blamed her. )

The Green Light Job
Eliot's going behind bars, Parker wants snacks, Hardison isn't helping, Sophie smells fear and Nate just wants a drink... (mid-to-late series, ensemble)
Words: ~14,000
Rating: Gen
Thank you: mitchy for the beta!
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit, etc etc
Next: All parts

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Eliot shook his head. "No."

Nate smiled like Eliot had said yes and said, “You haven't heard the whole plan yet."

"And I’m fine with that." Eliot crossed his arms and then uncrossed them quickly as he realized how defensive that would look and, okay, these people were as good as bad people got, but defensive around Sophie was like walking right up and asking for it.

( Too late: she’d smelled fear. )

An Unreliable Narrator
He doesn't think he's better than they are.
Words: ~1400
Rating: Gen, minor language
Thank you: The loveliness combo of mitchy and innie_darling for awesomeness of beta, any remaining flaws are all on me.

---

He doesn’t think he’s better than they are, but okay, what Nate finds a little weird - what Nate finds really weird - is how none of them hold grudges. They bitch a little, they put on a show, but it’s all about face. They remember, sure. They learn, of course they learn, but they don't remember like he remembers or learn like he learns.

( They don't hate like he hates. )

The idea of this meme actually made me snicker for slightly longer than I'm allowed to (I have a list not unlike Skippy's, it's shorter but surprisingly comprehensive) but I had to do it ANYWAY.

Comment with up to five things you associate with me and I will post about them, there may be interpretative dance

-- nicked from keepaofthecheez

In other news, jebbypal! This snippet of crack fic may look eerily familiar as, as part of bringing the crack, I'm attempting to fold a couple of WIPs for you into the mix. So here is a snippet of somewhat reworked Dean and Methos from the Road Trip fics

You will have more snippets soon, this thing is starting to look suspiciously like a story o_0. There's a PLOT.

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Jack In The Box (Snippet)
Summary: Multi-(multi)-fandom fic currently a WIP, but coming soon to an LJ near you
Thank you: mitchy for the speedy beta!

Methos fell asleep three hundred miles from California and woke up as they pulled into a gas station that proclaimed itself to be in Salt Lake City with what he felt was undue pride.

( ... )

*sidles up to jebbypal*

I'm still working on the fic (of course) but it's actually hitting a point where it's structured enough I'll be happy to start posting it up as a WIP and not worry so much that it all goes boom six chapters in or whatever.

In the meantime, teeny tiny little snippet (unbetaed and liable to change) of a bit from the beginning. Because it wouldn't be crack if the first one wasn't free o_0

( Jack In The Box Snippet (SGA) )

Wheeeee, Yuletide recs after run-through one (fandoms I really wanted to read fic in RIGHT NOW)

Contains 22 recs in: The 10th Kingdom, Blade, Bourne Identity (movies), Burn Notice, Calvin and Hobbes, Constantine, The Fixer, Jake 2.0, A Knight's Tale, Life, Miracles, Roswell, Sons of Anarchy, Special Unit 2, Speed, Veritas the Quest, Young Guns I and II (movie)

( ReccyReccyReccy )

Tonight is a night of bullet points, and open ones at that so my Yuletide person of loveliness can actually, you know, see the note. I hear that helps. Some people.

1) Hi, Yuletide Santa! I hope the detail in what I asked for was okay and I really can only reiterate that whatever you do for me, I will be beyond thrilled. I tried to give some details so you had something to go with, but totally ignore whatever gives any trouble because this is all about the fun times. If you've taken a look at my stuff, you'll see it's pretty much gen. And then more gen. With a little more gen on top. So I can't really deny that I do tend to veer towards gen, plotty canon-based stuff but seriously and for reals, if you decide you want to write an AU slash vignette with surprise guest muppets then that's what you do. The only thing I would ask is no non-con/incest/RPF (or if it's absolutely vital, not graphic) THANK YOU SO MUCH! I hope you enjoy the writings :)

( and friends )

With the next SC incoming on the 20th (HAI I DON'T SLEEP), we have a visit from RAINN.

Or, more accurately, RAINN's auditors.

Auditors: Hi! We're not evil AT ALL. We can prove it with our environmentally aware stationary. It says it right there on the envelope.
Don Doll: I think this may constitute false advertising
Auditors: You donated this much to RAINN between these dates, right? Sign here. Say you did. You did, right?
Don Doll: We did! And ... a substantial amount more. You know what, I'll be right back...
Auditors: Some kittens can fly
Don Doll: Awesome

Don Doll: RAINN? Hello RAINN? I know we have history of problems with basic arithmetic but I'm pretty sure dropping $9k is a little more than math camp can help you with.
RAINN: ...
RAINN: IT WAS THE DATABASES
Don Doll: This is a bad time to tell you I'm a web dev and know that's excuse #19, right?
RAINN: Bob, Bob, what's #20? ... OMG is that a horse's head?
Don Doll: Want to send me a new letter for the Auditors? I hear they're not evil.
RAINN: Sending revised letter! MADE OF DATABASES.
Don Doll: Awesome

For those just joining us, Parts one through four: the ongoing saga of LD proving to Paypal she isn't the Russian Mafia every time there's an SC auction

Don Doll: Hi, Invisible Children! Okay: raising donations for you, do you accept paypal? If not, paypal needs letterhead telling them I'm not the terrible face of organised crime. Apparently they have concerns for my immortal soul. Pleasedon'tkeepmeonholdformonths.

Invisible Children: HAI! Sure! No problem, have a letterhead!!!!!

Don Doll: No, okay, see, I ... waaaa-aaaait. What? I ... that's a lot of exclamation marks and they worry me, but I choose to ignore the dark foreboding because it's a letterhead and okay the sig image didn't come through but IT'S A LETTERHEAD ZOMG (!!!!!).

Invisible Children: Also, let me put you in cc this email with X, Y and Z who will be THRILLED TO TALK TO YOU!!!!(!!!!!). One of them's in Europe. He may know WHERE YOU LIVE.

Invisible Children X: HAI !!!!!!!!!

Don Doll: You have Koolaid, don't you.

Invisible Children: Jooooooin Usssssssssss

Don Doll: Awesome

(No, I kid, these guys have been awesome and VERY ENTHUSIASTIC *g* But, I mean, it's just not an SC auction without Don Doll)